BOOKhut

The BOOKhut Big 6......I mean 5! - with Steven Butler!!!!!!!

Mon, 07 May 2012 23:17:03 +0100

My memory is but a memory!

I am going through a spate of forgetfulness. I’m forgetting the most fundamental things at the……….sorry - what was I saying?

Oh yes, that’s right I’m really quite forgetful at the moment. I caused a a complete hullabaloo in the library (SHHHHH!!) on Saturday. I strolled in without either of my legs in anything resembling a trouser. Thankfully the assistant didn’t notice but threw me out instantly anyway when she realised I forgot my library card. (People prioritise in peculiar ways…..)

Consider also my ancester Great Uncle Winchester Mean-and-Rich Forget-me-fuddle III (the clues are in his name). He lived on the 411th floor of the Empire State Building. One particularly mean, rich and forgetful day - his 98th birthday in fact - he planned a shopping spree in New York. He had kippers and jam for breakfast (!) and readied himself for the day. As he shuffled from his appartement to the elevator he was met with a foreboding sign that simply read: ‘OUT OF ORDER’. Now not to be deterred from spending more of his misely millions on himself, he made a decision which would end up being his last. He listened to the voice in his head that clearly said, in an eerie whisper, - ‘TAKE THE STAIRS’.

The descent to the ground floor wasn’t the thing that saw of his - let’s face it - TIMELY demise. As he eventually stepped out through the revolving door wheezing his scrawny frame and sneering bitterly at the concerned doorman, the same voice popped into his wicked head again and sinisterly whisperred : ‘YOU’VE FORGOTTEN YOUR WALLET….GO BACK AND GET IT YOU OLD FART.’

Great Uncle Winchester Mean and Rich Forget-me-Fuddle III collapsed there and then. It’s not a pretty story but then again he wasn’t a pretty man…….

Though I inherited none of my Great Uncle’s Wealth (- it all went to a worm Sanctuary in California. In truth, the worms squanderred it on a shady deal which they thought they bought the ‘HOLLYWOOD’ sign. Worms sure are stupid!) I did inherit some of his forgetfulness. Lucky me…..Sigh…….

Not so lucky you though as this week I forgot to ask the audacious, amazing author - Steven Butler - 6 questions for the BOOKhut Big 6. I asked him five instead. Those of you who would like to complain can write to my nan. She lives on the moon - so good luck with the postage!

Steven Butler is three of the nicest men you could ever meet. He has written the fantastibulastically funny ‘The Wrong Pong’, illustrated by Chris Fisher and published by Puffin (‘There ‘aint nuffin like a puffin.’ my nan would muse…)

So here is this weeks ‘The BOOKhut Big 5’ with Steven Butler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q1: Describe yourself in six words.

Steven: Short, Noisy, Hungry, Confused, Potato

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Steven: I’m short and curious and have an evil sense of humour. I also spend a lot of time flying through the air as I work a great deal as an Aerialist in the theatre when I’m not writing, so… I suppose I share some qualities with Peter Pan… though that may just be wishful thinking.

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Steven: My favourite children’s books are The BFG, Peter Pan and I was a massive fan of Robin Jarvis’ DEPTFORD MICE books when I was a kid.

Q4: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Steven: GRANNY LAUNCHING… Strap a rocket to your grandma’s back and see how far the old gal’ flies. (***Look out nan - Steven’s got his eye on you!***)

Q5: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact?

Steven: When I was a boy I was lucky enough to have the marvelous and incredibly funny children’s writer, Jeremy Strong as my headmaster at school. It was like having Willy Wonka in assembly.

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Our BOOKhut recommendation for the week is the banana side-splitting ‘The Wrong Pong’. Neville’s just an ordinary boy who somehow finds himself being yanked down the bowl of his toilet by ……….A TROLL! (Gasp!) Soon Neville - the overling - meets and becomes part of the Bulch family who chomp on rat patties, ear-wax brownies and pickled fish eyes (how totally ‘rotsome’!). This book is full of things to keep your ticker-dinger-thinger laughing till bogeys fly out of your nose in elasticated harmonious joy!

Curious to find out more then of course check out this scrum-bubbler of a website on our number one authour of today, Steven Butler. This man is the business (- though I’ve never seen him in a bowler hat……) http://www.stevenbutlerbooks.com/

Right - I must go. I’m about to…..to…(sigh)…erm….what was I ‘about to’…..

Nope’. It’s gone.

Bog rolls and billabongs BOOKhutters!

Des

‘Get your sewer fish,’ Clod yelled. ‘Fresh from the waters of the rustiest pipes.’ - from ‘The Wrong Pong’ by Steven Butler. Illustrated by Chris Fisher. Published by Puffin.

The Easter BOOKhut Big 6! - with another award winning author, Philip Ardagh!!!!!!!

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 18:34:00 +0100

(Illustration by Jim Paillot)

This week we have a real Easter treat in the bearded form of the BOOKtastic Philip Ardagh! It’s a real BOOKhut exclusive and came about by chance. Let me explain…

Recently my luck has changed for the better. Consider the following:

I found 17 pence in loose change down the back of my friend’s sofa (- though technically, that could be seen as stealing, but we’ll glaze over the details…)
I predicted the lottery numbers. (Now this sounds interesting………though I may have innocently cheated. I may have overheard the announcer reveal the numbers and then I may have scribbled the winning numbers over my poor choices. When I made my claim, the lady in the suit with the moustached eyebrows just laughed at me. I made sure I mentioned this in my letter of complaint!)
I was given an extra two weeks holiday from work! (…A slight exaggeration - I had in fact caught chicken pox from a recovering hen so I was ill for the whole time. Sigh!)

I feel the reason for my good fortune is owed to acquiring a lucky rabbit’s foot from a kindly, mad farmer. He had fashioned it into one of those trendy keyrings and carved my initials ‘SL’ on the paw. (These aren’t my initials but who was I to argue? He was quite bonkers…)

All was going so well until one night I was sat in my lonely, creaky cottage when I heard a most terrifying sound. ‘Bang! Shuffle…Bang! Shuffle…Bang! Shuffle… (you get the picture…)’

The curious noise grew and I was instantly frozen in fear under my grandmother’s blanket. (She asked me to leave but I was too scared, so instead she jumped out of the window and straight into the lettuce patch.)

The door flung wide open and shattered against the wall! I let out a scream but fear had eaten the sound - along with half a packet of chocolate digestives. I shook like a blender turned all the way up to number 5…so that’s really quite shaky. The ‘Bang! Shuffle…’ drew nearer and nearer.

And then it stopped. The end!

No - wait…The blanket evaporated in my terror, and there in front of me stood…..CARROTY, THE EASTER BUNNY!! (Dun! Dun! Daaaaaa!)

“I’ll have my paw back thankyou!” he said tapping his wooden limb (or the ‘Shuffle’ to his other leg’s ’Bang’!). Consequently I’m up to my ears in chocolate eggs ripe for delivery as I said I’d help out. It would probably take him a bit longer to do the rounds this year so it’s the least I can do…

However, from this amazing run of luck, I was contacted by the ‘Roald Dahl Funny Prize’ award winning author and BOOKhut favourite, Philip Ardagh - AND he agreed to answer our BOOKhut Big 6. Check it out!

The BOOKhut Big 6 - with the ’Bearded Brilliance of Philip Ardagh!

Q1: Describe yourself in 6 words.

Philip: Very hairy. Very lovely. Quite funny.

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Philip: I know which book character I’d most LIKE to be: Piglet. Then I could spend all day with Winnie-the-Pooh.

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Philip: I love the Moomin books. I love Tintin. I love Narnia… I love reading all sorts (even the labels on shampoo bottles).

Q4: Who inspires you?

Philip: I’ve been inspired by the books I love and the people who’ve encouraged me, starting with Mrs Ewbank, an English teacher in the 1960s.

Q5: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Philip: All-Women’s Freestyle Bear-Pampering over 22 metres. (And, no, I don’t know what that would involve either. Apart from beards.)

Q6: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact.

Philip: Interesting fact? No one really knows for sure what colour dinosaurs were.

***Special bonus 7th Question: Why should the BOOKhutters seek out your latest Grubtown tale, ‘Trick eggs and rubber chickens’?

Philip: If you don’t, you’ll miss out on some of Jilly Cheeter & Mango Claptrap’s Roald-Dahl-Funny-Prize-winning adventures! (Which is illegal.)

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Philip Ardagh we salute you with thumbs aloft and cheers aplenty! You are our ‘BOOKhut Hero of the Hour’ and will enter our ‘Hall of Fame’ with an enormous box of chocolates. To find out more about our extra-special guest and updates from the Grubtown Daily Herald, then visit his website here www.philipardagh.co.uk/ . Our BOOKhut recommendation is of course the gut-bustingly funny Grubtown Tales and in particular ‘The Wrong End of the Dog’ (as published by Faber and Faber.) It follows arrival of famous film starlet, Tawdry Hipbone to Grubtown for the world premiers of her latest movie, ‘For the Love of Ducks II’. But aside from the excitement of this momentous occasion, Snooks- Hipbane’s dog and part-time hairpiece - is snatched by a low-flying pelican. So the search is on with the aid of usual Grubtown inhabitants playing their part in ensuring that this is a book where the laughs jump out of the pages.

I’m off to book my ticket to the trials for the All-Women’s Freestyle Bear-Pampering over 22 metres. It looks to be an exciting night and I have brought along a thermos flask of mint humbugs as a treat!

‘Bungling Buffoons and Big Man Gomez’, BOOKhutters!

Des

‘Mayor Flabby Gomez got to his feet.’Gentlemen,’ he said, with a most solemn expression. ‘You are the finest police force in the world.’ Then he handed round some cheese and biscuits.’ - from ‘Grubtown Tales - The Wrong End of the Dog’ by Philip Ardagh. Illustrated by Jim Paillot. Published by Faber and Faber.

An exclusive preview of the Warner Bros. studio tour from...

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 15:10:00 +0100

An exclusive preview of the Warner Bros. studio tour from outside Flourish and Blotts bookshop in Diagon Alley!!!!

****WARNING*****The following review excessively uses the word ‘WOW’. I truly apologise for any inconvenience this causes.

An urgent invitation reached me via owl yesterday morning, beckoning me to attend the Warner Bros. studio tour of ‘The Making of Harry Potter’. Naturally, I am a huge fan of the books and films and felt it was my duty to report this back to all you BOOKhutters!

So I enlisted the help of two other intrepid BOOKhut reporters – Sarah (7) and Matilda (8) – and prepared for our magical journey. However, my broom was out of action - and a dustpan and brush makes a poor substitute - so we caught the Hogwart’s Express from platform nine and three quarters straight to Watford Junction! (I am of course giving an imaginative account - it sounds better than ‘We popped on the tube and changed at Euston’….)

There, we were met by a bus - a glorious Harry Potter double-decker to escort us to Leavesden Studios. Our tour had well and truly begun as, for a short ride away, the enormous studios filled the horizon. ‘WOW’!

And that was the first of many ‘WOW’s that day. From the size of the buildings we quickly deduced that the exhibition would be slightly bigger than the Edmonton Ladies Cake Sale. In fact their French Fancies and Battenburg would have been swamped in these glorious hangars.

As you enter you pass several enormous chess pieces - which put my pocket connect 4 to shame! And these were the first of a run of beautifully crafted props and set pieces that we could feast our eyes on.

Even while we were queuing for the first part of the tour we had a good snoop at Harry’s makeshift bedroom under the stairs at Privet Drive. (You can even compare your hand size to a bronze cast of Daniel Radcliffe’s. I was very interested to find out that both he and I would wear the same size glove – a fact that every avid Potter enthusiast would want to know, I’m sure.)

My BOOKhut reporters were given an interactive task. Each was given a special passport and they were charged with collecting 6 special stamps. They also had to locate fifteen golden snitches throughout the different parts of the exhibition. In the end they found 47 golden snitches – but I suspected several of them were invented!

We were treated to a brief introduction on screen from Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint, preparing us for the splendour that awaited us. (We were sat in this really cosy cinema. My chair was so comfortable I sneaked it out of the exhibition at the end under a large hat. I’m sitting in it now. They still haven’t found out!)

The screen soon pulled back to reveal the entrance to the Banqueting Hall. (Another ‘WOW’ moment). Our guide opened the door and we poured in - by this time our eyes were the same size as the dinner plates on the oak tables in front of us.

You soon realise that reading the books is very exciting; seeing the films is thrilling; but actually being there is really quite special.

Everyone was snap-happy too. It’s a photographer’s paradise. You can position yourself against some of the most famous backdrops and casually imagine that Harry, Hagrid, Dumbledore and everyone else are just around the corner.

What I particularly liked was being immersed in all of the story once more. What you realise as a fan of the books is how much the production crew were real fans of the books too. Their attention to detail shows how very dedicated they were to honour J K Rowling’s stories in the best way possible.

The exhibition takes a break outside where you can sit and have your sandwiches in amongst some key set pieces and vehicles. I spied some Butterbeer and eagerly made a purchase. It was particularly vanilla-ry and quite delicious for a sweet toothed Potter-fan like myself. The BOOKhutters however were too busy taking it in turns to sit on Hagrid’s motor bike and side car. For a stationary vehicle it sure went fast! We even bundled into the Ford Anglia from ‘The Chamber of Secrets’. Again, it didn’t fly but we pretended beautifully - much to the bemusement of the other visitors. (There were a few glares from boring types who were milling around but you can’t please everyone! It’s always better to live an experience rather than be a tutting bystander!)

The rather extraordinary thing about the whole experience is that it feeds your imagination so heartily from the fact that there is just so much to see. You really do come out of the exhibition all fired up ready to write your own wizard stories. BOOKhutters, some of you out there will one day write the NEXT BIG THING – I’m absolutely sure of it. (And when do, and it is filmed and they make a theme park out of it, then please make sure the gift shop sells things that your fans can afford! It sure was pricey there! ‘WOW’!)

If you have a fear of spiders then when you visit the Creature Features don’t, whatever you do, look up. The mighty Aragog is looming and I swear I saw one of his many eyes blink. Thankfully a life size animatronic Buckbeak was at hand. And contrary to belief the Basilisk was quite charming, though I swiftly made my excuses when he mentioned how hungry he was. Sarah and Matilda didn’t want to be appetisers either so we made our way to the rather huge model of Hogwarts (TM).

‘WOW’ – there, I said it again! This was a ‘wow’ with a bit of a ‘gasp’ too. The whole room was dedicated to the huge model which could be viewed in a sweeping two floor gallery. Every 40 minutes the main lights would dim and the lights inside the construct illuminated. Very magical BOOKhutters – but then it was all so magical. It was very difficult to pick your favourite part as just when your mind would settle on something wonderful, you would be shown something equally brilliant.

In the end my BOOKhutters and I sort of agreed that walking down Diagon Alley was rather marvellous. And magically chopping carrots in the Burrough was also strangely exciting!

So to keep us in the mood, BOOKhut recommends all of the Harry Potter novels this week – once picked up you just keep on turning the pages. And let’s face it there’s enough books there (7) to keep you going for while. They really are something special.

Buckbeak, Bellatrix and Bathilda Bagshot BOOKhutters!

Des

“The stories we love best do live in us forever, so whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts (TM) will always be there to welcome you home.” - J K Rowling.

J K Rowling, BOOKhut, a Basilisk and me! Join BOOKhut for an...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 17:23:40 +0000

J K Rowling, BOOKhut, a Basilisk and me!

Join BOOKhut for an EXCLUSIVE press-advanced review of the Warner Bros. Studio Tour of ‘The Making of Harry Potter’. The Basilisk says it’s great so who am I to argue! (I’d best disapparate quick - I can hear his stomach rumbling….)

Butterbeer and Bertie Botts every flavour Beans, BOOKhutters!

Des

The BOOKhut Big 6! - with award winning 'Tom Gates' creator, Liz Pichon!!!!!!!

Sun, 11 Mar 2012 20:44:00 +0000

This is our 50th post and Spring is in the air!

- Which makes a change from great wafting clouds of polution OR that too familiar smell coming from the drains outside my Nan’s house. Nana blames her neighbour - Smelly Bob.

To be fair, I blame Smelly Bob too. Truly he is the most pungeant man I have ever encountered. If you get too close to him your skin starts peeling! My third best friend, Sally Partridge, used to deliver his Sunday paper. One day he came to the the door and her nose - quite unexpectedly - detached from her face and ran to Switzerland! (The air is much sweeter in Switzerland - apparently it has something to do with the chocolate!)

Anyway, last night I met with some of the best literary minds this side of Upper-Small-Kiddlingminister. Among the brilliant few were scientist, Professor Hurdle Spinwicks; German Choreographer - Jazz Hans; the Soviet spy - Glenda Agenda; and none other than the High Commissioner himself (so called because his commission is so high!). Together we battled all night long to try and come up with the ultimate book for you BOOKhutters to enjoy but we failed hideously…… And then Jazz suggested something with FLAIR, GENIUS and……a Nan who puts banana on pizza! (Truth - read it BOOKhuttters. Page 96!)

Our BOOKhut recommendation of the week (-thanks Jazz-) is ‘The Brilliant World of Tom Gates’ - written and illustrated by the totally terrifulous Liz Pichon and published by Scholastic Children’s Books. This rivetting read has already won the ‘Roald Dahl Funny Prize’ and is destined to be one of your favourites too.

After thumbing through this utterly, nutterly book I had to ask Liz to answer our BOOKhut Big 6. She - being 107 different words for ‘outstanding’ - duly responded and here is what she had to say:

The BOOKhut Big 6 - with the completely magnificent Liz Pichon!

Q1: Describe yourself in 6 words.

Liz: Chatty- Creative- Enthusiastic- Sunloving- Multi-tasker (is that two words or one?)

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Liz: Tom Gates… with a little bit of Delia thrown in on occasions of stress.

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Liz: ‘The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales.’ I love the FOX books by James Marshall and ‘Silly Verse for kids’ by Spike Milligan.

Q4: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Liz: BISCUITHON - A selection box of three events:

Fastest person to eat a Caramel wafer (without licking their lips).
Throwing a Caramel Wafer the furthest.
The tallest TOWER of Caramel Wafers balanced.

Q5: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact.

Liz: I am a quarter BURMESE (my Mum is half Burmese.) During the war, she escaped the japanese invasion of Burma by trekking for three months over the Himalayas into India. (What an awesome fact BOOKhutters!)

Q6: Why should the BOOKhutters seek out your latest book?

Liz: EVERYTHING’S AMAZING (sort of) - it’s SO thick that it will be useful to stand on if you can’t reach something on a tall shelf.

(Horay! I love a multi-purpose book me! Now I’ll be able to reach Nan’s secret stash of Caramel Wafers on top of her kitchen cupboards. Biscuithon - here I come….)

***You can check out more on Liz by visiting her website: http://www.lizpichon.co.uk ***

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What we have with ‘Tom Gates’ is a complete gourmet-deluxe treat of a book. When his teachers aren’t looking at him, Tom likes to draw what’s happening in his life. Of course, he has a few obstacles like his delightfully grumpy sister Delia, the idiotic Marcus ‘Moany’ Meldrew, the beady- eyed Mr Fullerman and highly embarrassing parents. But on the plus side he also has Derek, his best friend who lives next door, and the dreamy and distracting Amy Porter (Sigh!).

I love the way this book is set out - there’s bold text headlining each page and his story is devoloped even further with his imaginative doodles. It totally immerses you in his world. I tried to put this book down but I couldn’t. I had to cancel my regular game of tiddly-winks with the Prime Minister because I was enjoying it so much! I was engrossed! (By the way, I lead the Prime Minister 7 - 1 on the tiddly-wink front. He was very relieved when I had to cancel. Quite frankly he’s rubbish. He only won a match last time by default. I became ill very suddenly just after polishing off one of his chicken sandwiches. He seemed very pleased with himself. I haven’t ruled out the possibility of foul play…..)

The best part about all of this is that Liz has written more of Tom’s adventures and no doubt we’ll be looking at them too in the weeks to come. You can even follow his very own blog by clicking on this link: http://tomgatesworld.blogspot.com/ (I suggest you do for some Tom Gates exclusives - packed with illustrations and wonderful observations.)

Gigantic heroic applause and thanks to Liz for taking part in our BhB6 - you have just joined our BOOKhut Hall of Fame!

But right now I’m off to the supermarket to practise my wafer throwing. Watch out Old Fossils, it’s raining biscuits!

Bookburgers and Fries!

Des

‘Mum asks what we’re eating for lunch today. We all listen nervously. Granny announces we’re having:

Chicken stuffed with cheese.

Roasted eggs?

Peas on a stick.

I really hope it tastes better than it sounds.’ - from ‘The Brilliant World of Tom Gates’ by Liz Pichon. Published by Scholastic Children’s Books.

The BOOKhut Big 6! - with Tom McLaughlin!!!!!!!

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 21:26:00 +0000

I have just heard from the Queen herself how much she is enjoying ‘The BOOKhut Big 6’ and she’s invited me to Buckingham Palace to help her do the grouting in 17 of the 43 bathrooms within her establishment.

You would have thought that being the Queen, and such like, that she would get someone in to do it for her. But recently she’s been doing this course on the Open University (- it’s like a portable school-) and when she qualifies she’ll be able to do the odd house call between state functions. She’s a mean plumber already - sorted out my blocked u-bend in no time! Her services are very reasonable indeed only charging customers 4 cups of Earl Grey tea per hour, but it must be served in a china cup with a saucer (- hob-nob optional, if not she’s just as happy with a custard cream).

While we were chatting she recommended that I contact her favourite illustrator and writer Tom McLaughlin who has just released the *uber magnifico book ‘The Diabolical Mr Tiddles’. (*’uber magnifico’, contrary to belief, is not an ice-cream and you can’t buy it in all good branches of ‘Ascos’ and it certainly isn’t priced £2.05 and it isn’t sold in central London - though if it was, it would cost £14 because they like to fleece the tourists there.)

So, I spoke to his people and he spoke to my people and they spoke to their people and then we spoke to some other people and then they introduced us to some more people and then those people spoke to some other people and they spoke to at least eight more people and they introduced me to Margot the Chimp. Margot did this hilarious impression of a helicopter… and very quickly I forgot all about Tom. Until the Queen said ‘Have you spoken to Tom yet?’ to whichI spoke directly to him because the business before was all rather too silly.

All this word meandering has led to this very important ‘BOOKhut Big 6’ with the very excellent Tom McLaughlin. Read on BOOKhutters - it’s a blast!:

Q1: Describe yourself in 6 words.

Tom: A professional tea-drinking word doodler.

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Tom: That’s hard to answer. I think it varies from day-to-day: I lurch from an neurotic Charlie Brown, to a being a dreamer, like Charlie Bucket, with a bit of Adrian Mole’s awkwardness thrown in for good measure.

(**BOOKhutters, just so you know Adrian Mole isn’t a real mole at all but a character from a series of books written by the author Sue Townsend. Curiously enough though, my friend Makawber is a mole and his middle name is Adrian! So, there you go…)

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Tom: That’s a tough one. I like all kinds books. Anything by Roald Dahl, obviously. To anything quirky, like ‘Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus’. Though I think the kids’ book that made the biggest impression on me was one I read as an adult. ‘The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy’, by Tim Burton. It was the book that made want to write. (**Superb choices Tom - check them out BOOKhutters!)

Q4: Who inspires you?

Tom: Apart from all of the writers I’ve just mention, it would be my children, Joe and Harry. I want them to be proud of me and think I’m pretty okay, for a Dad.

Q5: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Tom: If I had to invent an Olympic sport, it would have to something that I could win a gold medal at. So perhaps a new event of ‘Losing My Glasses’. I am truly excellent at that. World class, you might say. Although I’m not sure how I’d find my way to the arena.

Q6: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact.

Tom: Us humans are made up of atoms, but tiny things that they are, atoms are mostly empty, so empty in fact that imagine squeezing all the space out of an atom. Well, if you did that to all the atoms in all the people in the world, you could indeed fit the entire human race in the volume of a sugar cube.

(**Shortly after this I had a cup of Earl Grey tea with the Queen. I decided to push the boat out and treated myself to just a quarter of a suger lump. As I stirred it in, low and behold, I was set upon by the whole of Russia! Amazing!)

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Tom is another one of those rare geniuses who is an absolute BOOKhut hero. Our huge thanks to Tom - and here’s a bonus: find out more about this very talented man by visiting his website on http://tommclaughlin.co.uk/ . It’s jam packed full of his striking images and a retrospective of his work to date. Give it a gander BOOKhutters! He has such a cool style! Our BOOKhut Recommendation is of course Tom’s latest ‘The Diabolical Mr Tiddles’ (- published by Simon & Schuster Children’s Books). It tells the tail of Harry and his new cat Mr Tiddles. To show his friendship to his new owner, Mr Tiddles starts bestowing these great gifts on Harry. But where is he getting them from? And is he up to something DIABOLICAL? Read on BOOKhutters and find out. (Also, guest starring the Queen - which is probably why she likes Tom so much!)

Got to dash - promised I would support Tom as he receives his gold medal for ‘Losing His Glasses’ at the World Championships, in preparation for the summer. It is his fifth victory in almost two weeks, though he has yet to pick up any of his awards as - without glasses - he hasn’t been able to find his way to the podium.

Ta-ta BOOKhutters and remember: Cabbages are not sweets.

Des

The BOOKhut Big 6! - with award winning author Janet Foxley!!!!!!!

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 19:46:00 +0000

Every now and then an author comes along and is just so funtubulistic - in every dimension - that I feel it ‘oh so very’ important that their stories be gobbled whole by the entire nation! Janet Foxley (award winning creator of BOOKhut favourite - ‘Muncle Trogg’ and now also ‘Muncle Trogg and the Flying Donkey’ - both published by Chicken House) is such an author, and has bravely undertaken the herculean challenge of our ‘BOOKhut Big 6’. Read on to find out how she did:

Q1: Describe yourself in 6 words.

Janet: Wrinkled, weary, worried, wobbly, writer, woman

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Janet: Ma Trogg. (I don’t look much like her, though.)

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Janet: Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne, The Lorax by Dr. Seuss, Minnow on the Say and Tom’s Midnight Garden by Philippa Pearce, the Swallows and Amazons series by Arthur Ransome, Handles by Jan Mark…and many others!

Q4: Who inspires you?

Janet: People who make the most of what they do have in life rather than complaining about what they don’t have.

Q5: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Janet: Jousting on dragon-back. (Countries unfortunate enough to have no dragons may use giraffes.)

Q6: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact.

Janet: Penguins have spiny tongues to help them swallow slippery fish.

***Special bonus 7th Question: Why should the BOOKhutters seek out your latest book ‘Muncle Trogg and the Flying Donkey’?

Janet: Because it will take them back to Mount Grumble to find out what happens to Muncle Trogg next. And because it’s funny. And really quite good.

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You can find out even more about Janet and her, quite frankly, marvelous body of work by visiting her website at http://www.janetfoxley.co.uk/ . Great ladles of thanks to Janet for supplying us with fascinating answers and giving her time so generously.

‘Muncle Trogg and the Flying Donkey’ is our BOOKhut recommendation this week. It continues the story of our diminutive giant who should be blissfully happy now that his younger brother, Grit, isn’t troubling him. (There’s nothing like a bully to set your tummy ablaze!) And of course King Thortless is about to announce Muncle as the new Wise Man. But all is not as it seems and Muncle is worried.

And what about this donkey! What does it all mean? Why not answer my questions by curling up with a bowl of ‘fungus porridge’ and enjoying yourself silly with this second slice of Muncle Trogg. Guaranteed to make you hunger for a third installment - though you may want to leave the porridge!

Tiddly-Winks and Bongos BOOKhutters!

Des

‘Smallings are evil, Smallings are mean,

Smallings would kill our King and our Queen

If ever a giant or dragon was seen.

Keep in the cloud, keep to the night,

Keep in the mine, keep out of sight.

If Smallings should ever discover our town

They’d hunt every single man, wife and child down.’

- from ‘Muncle Trogg’ by Janet Foxley. Illustrated by Steve Wells. Published by Chicken House.

A masterclass in writing with Dr Judith Serious.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:32:00 +0000

Bored this half-term?

Well why don’t you decorate my bathroom! I’ll pay you in biscuits and supply you with as much tea as you can carry in a saucepan.

Wait! I was joking! (- I wasn’t. Even if you did a few tiles I would be grateful! Though I was lying about the biscuits…….I have barely a clutch of pink wafers to my name.)

This week saw me attending a writing masterclass with world famous children’s author (and part-time dentist and wool expert) Dr Judith Serious. Dr Judith Serious - or as he likes to be known - Dr Judith Serious - has of course garnered many an award and accolade for his ‘Pemberton Fence Investigates’ series.

(I find them quite dull, to be honest. For those of you who haven’t read them then please don’t bother on my account. They revolve around a fence panel who becomes a private investigator and solves crimes. Truly - it’s awful. But when your parents are owners of a chocolate empire, as Judith’s were, then you’re bound to pick up the odd publishing contract along the way. Dear me! (Shakes his head in woe!))

I nervously took along my portfolio and displayed some of my better efforts for him to consider. For someone nearly 7 feet tall he was surprisingly short and he was covered in wrist watches so that he could boast about what time it was in any country in the world. He was instantly tedious.

Needless to say he hated everything I had written. He even hated my tie - and I wasn’t even wearing one of those! However, after telling me the time in Nova Scotia, he agreed to help me improve my writing.

First off, we took a simple sentence.

Gloria wandered the streets searching for her cat.

Then Dr JS modified it with his own brand of excellence so that it read:

Gloria wandered like a Brontosaurus around the streets, searching for her cat that wasn’t a Brontosaurus.

I didn’t like either sentence and I detested the second one even more. But being a decent sort of fellow (and some might use the term ‘door mat’ here) I went along with his suggestions.

To test him further I gave him this sentence to ‘improve’:

It was a glorious, sunny day and Kevin the ostrich put on his best pants to celebrate.

Dr Judith Serious winced and then fuelled the light bulb above his head with this response:

It was a glorious, sunny Brontosaurus day and Kevin the Brontosaurus ostrich put on his best Brontosaurus pants to celebrate Brontosauriously.

Awful. Even Kevin the ostrich agreed - and he was a fictional character written for the purpose of this blog piece.

When I challenged Dr JS on the word ‘Brontosauriously’ and suggested that he had made it up he nearly evaporated with total anger.

I left soon afterwards. I went straight home and cheered myself up by reading this weeks BOOKhut recommendation, ‘My Brother’s Famous Bottom’ by the King of Comedy himself, Jeremy Strong. Nicholas has this baby brother called Cheese and Dad is hailing him as a TV star in the making. The disposable-nappy people are searching for a bottom to advertise their new range. Cue an audition and some sillines and slapstick ahoy! It’s simply smashing and ideal for this half-term.

So there you have it. If you’re not going to decorate my bathroom then the least you can do is enjoy reading ‘My Brother’s Famous Bottom’ - guaranteed to baseball bat boredom into oblivion!

Scribbles and Nibbles, BOOKhutters!

Des

(PS. I have three brothers and none of them have a famous bottom. Or famous anything come to think of it…)

‘Dad reckoned he saw several TV stars. He even asked one for her autograph, and she was ever so pleased. She scribbled it down and then told him that actually she was one of the cleaners!’ - from ‘My Brother’s Famous Bottom’ by Jeremy Strong. Illustrated by Rowan Clifford.

Drum roll please……….Presenting the ‘13...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:57:13 +0000

Drum roll please……….Presenting the ‘13 Words by Lemony Snicket’ book trailer. This is beautifully bonkers BOOKhutters! Here is a word book like no other and believe me - I’ve searched! Lemony Snicket has listed some of the most essential words of all time, including Bird, Dog, Cake, Panache, Despondent, and of course, Haberdashery.

(I would like to point out that I share his views on ‘cake’!)

BOOKhut presents.......The Worlds Worst - starring Sir Gadabout!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:59:00 +0000

Consider being ‘The Worlds Worst’ at something. It doesn’t exactly inspire does it?

Here is a list of some of my BOOKhut chums who were always destined for EPIC failure:

Rick the hedgehog got very few bookings as a balloon sculpturer. I can’t think why….he’s such a nice creature. So he left that business venture and became a lollipop man. Hedgehogs and roads don’t really mix and within the first day he was as flat as his lollipop. I miss you Rick. We all do…..
Billy the Goldfish wanted a job at NASA. He had dolphin friend who jazzed up his CV. Well of course on the day of his interview he forgot where he was going - and five seconds later he forgot his name. The same ‘friend’ suggested he went into construction. The first day on site the foreman placed a hod of bricks on his bowl and that was last I heard of Billy. I miss you Billy. We all do…….. (BOOKhut tip of the day: never trust a dolphin. They think they know everything!)
Alfred G. Tumble fancied himeslf as a boxer and challenged Yarloslav ‘The Meat Pounder’ Boslavavich to a fight. Alfie was muscularly challenged - he was a five stone weakling to be fair. I’ve known sticks of celery with bigger biceps. But the gauntlet had been thrown down. All it took was one upper cut and Alfie was as flat as Rick. I miss you Alfie. We all do……
Trisha Addlebury always dreamt of becoming a gold medalist so she saw her opportunity when the British team held their swimming try-outs. She looked resplendent in her pink lycra costume and stood with majesty at the pool’s edge. The noise of the crowd blended together in a universally wagnerian chant of ‘TRISHA! TRISHA!’. The starter gun fired and the line of athletes plunged into the water to commence the competetive battle. Apart from Trisha - who rememberred that she couldn’t actually swim. Her cheeks went scarlet with embarrasment and to save face she jumped in and sank like a stone. I miss you Trish. We all do…….
Kevin Grotter was a professional school bully. For years he terrorised me and the rest of my class with his disgusting and humiliating tatics. After school he rose up the ranks to become the Mayor of London . While promoting the Olympics at the London Eye, the mechanism became faulty and the wheel started spinning out of control. Tragically, his pod detached from the rest from the speed of the revolutions, sending him him flying off into the approaching storm clouds. He was never seen again. I don’t miss Kevin. No-one does…………

Now consider todays BOOKhut recommendation ‘Sir Gadabout’ by Martyn Beardsley (illustrated by the ‘funtubulous’ Tony Ross). Sir Gadabout has the unenviable title of ‘The Worst Knight in the World’. Apparently he is so incompetent, it’s amazing he can put his armour on the right way! But when the fair Guinivere goes missing it’s left to Sir Gads to lead the quest to rescue her…..hopefully in one piece. He is assisted by his faithful squire Herbert and Merlin’s sceptical cat Sydney Smith. Will Guinivere return to the arms of her beloved King Arthur or will those arms be quite accidentally broken off in a bungled rescue by Sir Gadabout? Don’t just sit their pondering the answer - pick up the book and find out for yourself.

Recently I thought I would become the ‘The World’s Greatest Mechanic’ - and quite by coincidence my first assignment was at the London Eye - the day Mayor Grotter was snuffling around for publicity. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very good and it didn’t quite work out - though thinking about it, perhaps it did. (See ya Kev - remember: what goes around, comes around. He-he-he!)

Oodles of poodles in supernoodles BOOKhutters! Get reading and I look forward to speaking to you soon.

Des

‘“You must tell us what you’ve done with Guinivere,” Sir Gadabout declared grandly. “Otherwise…” and he drew his sword out with a great flourish. The blade hit the low ceiling of the cave and it snapped in two. The broken half cracked Sir Gadabout on the head, knocking him to the floor in a daze.’ - from ‘Sir Gadabout’ by Martyn Beardsley. Published by Orion Childrens.

Zoo Wee Mama! - it’s ‘The Diary of a Wimpy Kid -...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Zoo Wee Mama! - it’s ‘The Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Cabin Fever’! - If you haven’t read it then where on EARTH have you been!!!!!

Vern and Lettuce are in 'da house! (or 'hut' - to be precise....)

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:52:00 +0000

Is your best friend a rabbit? If the answer is ‘No’ please move on to the next question.

***************

Hello - thought I might find you here.

Alright then, is your best friend a sheep? If the answer is ‘Yes’ then please proceed to the nearest hospital where a doctor will look after you and a nurse will brush your hair and tell you everything is going to be fine. (Just make sure they don’t eat all of your grapes.)

BUT actually rabbits and sheep can co-exist in the most wonderful way. And the very best example of this is to look at the friendship that has grown between Sarah McIntyre’s dazzling duo, Vern and Lettuce.

Vern (the sheep) and Lettuce (the rabbit) are best friends - soul mates if you will. Not entirely similar at all either in breed or character, but together they form a funtubulous dynamic.

Vern is a bit of a worrier, Lettuce is more spirited and carefree. Vern plays the tuba (‘BWAAT’!!!!). Lettuce can sing (….well, she seems to think so anyway) and together they plan to audition for Barnyard Talent and meet fox impressario, Ricky Reynard. On the way they knit, bake, bunny-sit and meet moles, polar bears, badgers and bus driving cats (that don’t allow pigeons to ride their bus. How rude!). Our two heroic animals turn the London cityscape into one big adventure and there are plenty of giggles to be had in each comic strip.

When I met Sarah, I asked her a couple of Vern and Lettuce related questions exclusively for BOOKhut:

BOOKhut: If Vern could knit you something what would you ask him to make you?

Sarah McIntyre: It would probably be a jumper with lots of pockets.

BOOKhut: If Vern and Lettuce bought each other a present, what would it be?

Sarah McIntyre: I think Vern would bake Lettuce some cookies and Lettuce would get Vern some skydiving lessons. Vern would hate that, and he would need some convincing to jump out of the plane.

******

Again BOOKhut would like to give two huge thumbs up to the brilleriffic Sarah McIntyre. Vern and Lettuce is our BOOKhut recommendation so spoil yourselves and seek it out TODAY!!!

I’m off to visit my friend in hospital. He thinks he’s an armadillo named Bernice. I’ve already eaten his grapes so he’ll be disappointed about that.

Tatty bye BOOKworms!

Des

'Do igloos have loos?' - I'm not sure, but keep away from the yellow ice cubes.

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:25:00 +0000

Life is one big question.

Actually, perhaps life is several questions.

Oh, let’s face it - life is FULL of questions. Here are some I would like answerred:

Where is my hat?

Who had the biggest pants - King Henry VIII or Queen Victoria? (I think hers were HUGE towards the end of her life.)
What flavours does a rainbow come in?
Are you sure you haven’t seen my hat?
Where is Atlantis? (Is it really Cornwall in a very clever disguise? I heard someone say once that if you took the glasses and moustache off of Cornwall it would look exactly like Atlantis.)
Why do feet smell of cheese?
Why does cheese smell of feet?
Why does the postman always leave the gate open?
What does a Royal Guard keep under his busby? (I think I know this one: it’s their sandwiches.)
Who broke the Enigma code?
Who fixed the Enigma code after it was broken?
Do spies like mince pies?
Listen, I won’t get upset if you just put my hat back. I’ll close my eyes….
What was Rumplstiltskin’s middle name? (I think it was Cynthia….)
Did Goldilocks wear a wig?
How many light bulbs does it take to change a person?
Who changes the light bulb in the sun?
Can I have a pet cloud and if so what would I give it to eat?

Some simple enough questions there I think you’ll find.

Alternatively of course you can plump for reading the BOOKhut recommendation for today which is the fact filled ‘Do Igloos Have Loos?’ by Mitchell Symons. In this bookMitchell sets out to answer all the unanswered and some of the unanswerable questions in the know universe. Like:

Was there a real Goody Two-Shoes?
Why does our skin go wrinkly when we’ve stayed in the bath for too long?
How clever is your right foot?

This book is BEYOND FASCINATING. And if you think this is great then why not try one of his other books like the catchily titled ‘How much POO does an elephant do?’ or ‘On your FARTS, get set, GO!’

Just ask Mitchell - he knows the answers.

I bet he knows where my hat is.

Speak to you soon BOOKhutters.

Des

‘Slugs thrive in the wet. If they dry out - a process known as dessication - they die. So they have to produce a protective mucus - which looks like slime to us - to survive.’ - from ‘Do Igloos have Loos?’ by Mitchell Symons.

The Multi - Brillianted (- that’s not a real word, but...

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:36:01 +0000

The Multi - Brillianted (- that’s not a real word, but hey- ho!) David Walliams talks about his 3rd book - ‘Billionaire Boy’

A definite BOOKhut recommendation!

One Wonderful Website by illustrator and author Sarah McIntrye Coming Right Up! Click Here Bookhutters....

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:22:00 +0000

One Wonderful Website by illustrator and author Sarah McIntrye Coming Right Up! Click Here Bookhutters....:

Join the hoardes of BOOKhutters visiting Sarah McIntyre’s website. It jam packed with lots of fun activities, pictures and things to keep you busy! Bookmark it and add it to your favourites as you will be guaranteed to visit again and again and again!

The BOOKhut Big 6! - with Sarah McIntyre!!!!!!!

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:48:00 +0000

Sarah McIntyre is one of the bravest illustrators I know.

Look at this picture. She has a finger placed on Morris the Mankiest Monster’s bogey! (Cue the fainting Victorian lady)

It’s alright. No need to panic. Get the Victorian lady some smelling salts and a sponge cake. Sarah is only touching a picture of his bogey.

Sarah is an illustrator, author and creative wonder and I thought I would pop along to the Fleece Station (where her studio is based) and ask her The BOOKhut Big 6. (Cue outrageously epic music that would make any 18th cetury German composer blush into insignificance.)

The BOOKhut Big 6 - with the utterly brilliant Sarah McIntyre.

Q1: Describe yourself in 6 words.

Sarah: Sugar addicted Londoner addicted to drawing.

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Sarah: Sym in ‘The White Darkness’ by Geraldine McCaughrean.

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Sarah: ‘There are cats in the book’ by Vivian Schwarz and ‘In the Night Kitchen’ by Maurice Sendak. (**Look ‘em up BOOKhutters - they are fab!**)

Q4: Who inspires you?

Sarah: My creative friends Gary Northfields, Lauren O’Farrell, Ellen Lindner and the wider British comics community Posie Simmonds, Satoshi Kitamura and Philip Reeve.

Q5: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Sarah: Anything involving water balloons filled with jelly would be good. Perhaps also a game that was a cross between baseball and polo but ridden on elephants.

(**What a fantastic answer - I should have asked what flavour jelly though! Crumbs!**)

Q6: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact.

Sarah: The Fleece Station is haunted by a lady who lives in the toilet!

*******************************************************************

Phew! That was incredible. HUGE thanks to Sarah for answerring our BIG 6. I hope that ghost in the toilet isn’t too much of a bother (- I might see if I can track her down and suggest a more glamorous spot to haunt. Imagine having to go while while the ghost is rattling her chains and moaning. It would be most off putting!)

And our BOOKhut recommendation of course has to be something from Sarah so may I suggest ‘You Can’t Scare a Princess’ written by Gillian Rogerson and illustrated, of course, by our very own Sarah McIntyre. It has all you need - a neat, sweet, treat of a story with a princess, a king and some rather cheeky pirates - all beautifully drawn in spectacular fairytale dream scapes. (I’ve been lucky enough to see Sarah work and when she draws her pen sings accross a page. It’s magic.)

Join us later in the week when we find out a bit more about two of Sarah’s best characters, Vern and Lettuce!

I’m off to ghost-bust in a toilet. I ‘aint ‘fraid of no ghost!…………on second thoughts I might just stay here instead…….

Des

Silly poems for Brilliant BOOKhutters! By Anderson A. Anderson et al

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:57:00 +0000

I have spent literally moments on writing the following poems for you. (No - not YOU Finnegan Gimble! You can stand in the corner. And turn around - we are offended by your beard and all that is trapped in it!)

As such, I have changed my name temporarily to Anderson A. Anderson. Don’t ask me why! (I said DON’T ask me why, Finnegan. And you can turn around again!)

My first offering is this little sham number:

‘McGoven’s Revenge’ by Anderson A. Anderson

Coco McGoven

was a pushin’ and a shovin’

in the queue for the loo

(which ‘the queue’ wasn’t lovin’)

so it weren’t surprising

when there was an uprising

and the queue pushed back

in a singular attack!

And Coco was ejected

he was down and rejected

BUT in fierce retaliation

he caused a mass sensation

as he pulled down his trousers

and the queue gasped ‘Yowsers!’

as he weed on them all

from the tallest to the small!

In confusion and disgust

all the queue began to rust

and his final parting shot

at this angry, sodden lot

was a revelation true -

that he didn’t need a poo!

This poem is bound to be shared in most boutiques up and down the land and scrawled in invisible ink on large billboards. My next journey into poetry is a much better piece - mainly because it’s not as long which has caused many to breath a sigh of relief after chugging through the last attempt:

The Double Booking - by Anderson A. Anderson

“What time’s the War?

Half past four!

Can we make it eight?

I’m going to be late!”

Short but oh-so-sweet! It won several awards in my own imagination and catapulted me into fame and fortune. And then I woke up. Sigh. But this next one is simply marvelous:

The Self-Preservation Society - by Anderson A Anderson

“I am a fish with fingers,” said Fingers the fish.

“Don’t eat my hands with peas on a dish!”

Fin (Ha-Ha)

I must stop now as I have received 4 million complaints - all from my mother and several from myself. But before I go here’s another BOOKhut recommendation. It is of course ‘Silly Poems’ compiled by Paul Cookson. Packed with ridiculous riddles, loopy lists, tricky tongue twisters and nutty nonsense, it will tickle and inspire and become an instant favourite reading companion.

I am now off to write three more poems which I predict will be even worse than the three I have just written. Oh dear.

Speak soon BOOKhutters!

Des

‘Peter Pan

Drove a van

Over Wendy

Now she’s bendy!’ - by Andrea Shavick from Silly Poems, compiled by Paul Cookson.

Stop the Press and Shabba me Whiskers: Andy Stanton BOOKhut Exclusive!

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:26:00 +0000

During the summer of 1642 (or maybe it was half past three?) it was my great fortune to meet the creative whirlwind known to some as Andy Stanton, but to others simply, Andy Stanton. Here are the things I deduced:

What a nice man he is! (my mum and her parrot, Cindy, agreed)
He is taller than hobbits but a bit smaller than a giant hobbit.
He knows a few thousand facts about sharks - particularly old ones. (This is a veritable truth)
His beard is made from super enforced cream cheese (This is a lie - I’m sorry to all involved)
He is a 1000 x funty (- thanks Billy William III -) and has an amazingly inventive mind!

I asked him some questions on behalf of you - the BOOKhutters - to discover more about this exceptional author:

BOOKHUT: Your characters all inhabit a place called ‘Lamonic Bibber’ but how on earth did you come up with a name like ‘Lamonic Bibber’?

ANDY STANTON: Well, I like to make up words or phrases in my life - weird sounding words that no-one’s ever heard of before just because I like how words sound. I think it’s really funny. For some reason this phrase ‘Lamonic Bibber’ popped into my head and I used to use it in disgust if something was rubbish. (For example) I would come out of a cinema and go ‘Oh man! That film was totally lamonic bibber!’. And then later on I started writing my ‘Mr Gum’ books and I thought ‘What’s the name of the town that all the characters live in?’, and I remeberred ‘Lamonic Bibber’ - it was the perfect name. So actually it means that all my characters live in a town, and the whole world of the books is set in a town, which means ‘a load of old rubbish’!

BOOKHUT: Andy, you have invented some of the funniest catphrases we have ever heard of like ‘Shabba me Whiskers’ uttered by Mr Gum himself. But how on earth did you come up with a phrase like ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’ by Friday O’Leary?

ANDY STANTON: Years ago I was sitting with my brother watching TV and I just turned to him, out of the blue, (Idon’t know why - I’ve no idea why) and said ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. And he just turned back to me and said, ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. And then I turned back to him and said, ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’ - and we did this for about half an hour and from that day on we just used to say ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. It used to get into my head all the time. And if I was listening to the radio and it would say something like ’ The news at 11 o’clock’, I would hear it as, ’THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. Years later I started writing my book and I thought ‘What is the weirdest phrase that I can get Friday O’Leary to shout out?’, and of course I rememberred ’THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. Now kids all over the country - if not the world - all shout out ’THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’ and it’s just because of this one thing I said to my brother one day. I still don’t think anyone knows what it means!

********************************************************************

Hearty thanks to to Andy Stanton - the MAN…..ton… for such an exclusive insight into his novels. To celebrate, BOOKhut’s recommendation for the day is ‘Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire’ - book 2 in the Mr Gum series. It introduces the crumbly, delicious and as rich as a mince pie, Alan Taylor - a gingerbread man with electric muscles. But it looks like Mr Gum and and Billy William are co-plotting to steal his fortune. It’s up to regulars, Polly and Friday O’Leary to save the day. Confused? Of course you’ll be but in the most delightful way!

Laters potaters! (BOOKhutters all!)

Des

‘Down on the rocks Mr Gum was looking out to sea with a powerful telescope he’d made from a jar of mustard, a rolled-up magazine and a powerful telescope.’ from ‘Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire’ by Andy Stanton.

WARNING: Eating a fairytale princess can give you serious indegestion!

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:00:00 +0000

Genghis the Troll invited me to dinner under his bridge. Well, I couldn’t say no - he’s much bigger than me and he did have me in a head-lock at the time!

So I went along with a bottle of Goo de la Nez ’76 (a good vintage for snot wine) and half a maggot sandwich (-well, I got a bit hungry on the way -) and nervously rang the clanger on his drawbridge door.

“YOU’RE EARLY!” he boomed through a green misty belch. “I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO PEEL ME EYEBALLS FOR DESSERT YET!”

Now two things struck me there. 1) What or whose eyeballs was he peeling and 2) EYEBALLS FOR DESSERT!!! PUKE!!! (……I mean wouldn’t they be much better placed as a starter).

For the occasion he had washed his hair - both of them - and had applied four layers of dung to his trousers. Everywhere he went he left a little deposit of filth! Yuck!

“So what’s on the menu tonight? Steak and chips with a nice side salad?” I asked optimistically with a a great deal of trepidation.

“IT WAS GOING TO BE BRAISED PRINCESS IN A DUNG SAUCE WITH A PARSLEY GARNISH!” said Genghis drooling over his words.

(I didn’t like parsley but I kept quite. I didn’t want to appear rude.)

“BUT THE PRINCESS I NICKED ESCAPED DURING MY AFTERNOON SIESTA!” The corners of his mouth dropped and he focussed his one yellow eye rather intimidatingly at me. I knew what he was going to say next. He continued, “NOW BE A GOOD SPORT AND JUMP IN THE OVEN - I’M STARVING.”

As you can imagine I squarely declined, not with words but through my actions. I ran from that bridge as fast as my bandy legs would carry me.

On the way home I met a princess who went on to explain that she had had a similar experience earlier. We were both famished so I invited her out for a burger - see it wasn’t such a bad day after all!

My BOOKhut recommendation for today is ‘Don’t Cook Cinderella’ written by ‘Horrid Henry’ creator, Francesca Simon. Here she blends fairytale characters we all know and puts them in a school setting. The infants are taught by Miss Good Fairy and comprise of Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, the Three Little Pigs and many other heroic types. But in the class opposite are the juniors or Bad Class, taught by Miss Bad Fairy and they include Wicked Witch, Big Bad Wolf, Jealous Queen as well as a troll (not dissimilar to the one I met!). Bad Class become obsessed with wanting to eat the infants. Will they succeed and feast on Hansel and Gretel and the rest of their class mates? Or will they be thwarted by Mother Goose? DON’T JUST SIT THERE - SEEK OUT THIS WONDERFIBULABULOUS TALE!

It’s a must read!

I’m off to the palace now to pick up the princess. We’re heading into town for another burger and then might catch a film later. She insists it has to end ‘Happily Ever After’ so we won’t be watching ‘Zombie Bunnies from the Twelth Dimension’ (which I really wanted to see!).

(Tut!)

See you soon BOOKhutters!

Des

“WHO THREW THAT SPITBALL!’ shouted Miss Bad Fairy.

‘I did,’ said Big Bad Wolf. ‘Wotcha gonna do about it?’

Miss Bad Fairy made a big black mark in her register.

‘Keep up the good work, Big Bad Wolf! Go to the top of the class!” - from ‘Don’t Cook Cinderella’ - written by Francesca Simon and illustrated by Tony Ross.

Start the New Year with a smile on your face.......and a banana in your ear! Let's hear it for BIG NATE! (Silence)....take the banana out first....NOW - Let's hear it for BIG NATE! (Applause!!!)

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 14:51:00 +0000

Happy New Year BOOKhutters - let’s start as we mean to carry on shall we?

My New Years resolutions include:

To bungee jump off a shoe box (- I don’t like heights so something flat would be ideal really.)
To eat at least two of my five-a-day (- I would argue that chocolate covered raisins are in actual fact one of your five-a-day, however I’m not tempted by chocolate covered sprouts.)
To grow my own zoo.
To invent something brilliant - like self-cleaning underpants, or make-up for birds, or powdered water (..which you can rehydrate with……erm….water…..hmn……that’s not my best idea….needs some work…)
To create a new sound effect for a big budget blockbuster movie. Here’s a sample: FWATANGO! (- it’s the sound of a tennis racket hitting a naughty robot on the head.)
To READ LOTS OF AWESOME BOOKS AND SHARE THEM WITH YOU!

First up is ‘BIG NATE - The Boy with the Biggest Head in the World’ by the stunningly spectacular Lincoln Peirce. Nate is a classic comic-strip character and stars in not just one but SEVERAL rib-ticklingly bombastic books of his own.

Now Nate believes that he has an appointment with destiny - that he is, like you, going to be something GREAT! (Thus proving what a big head he really is! - Not you of course, him.)

He’s a table tennis champ, a genius comic book artist and, in his mind, the king of his class. One morning, he rushes to school after surviving his Dad’s toxic porridge, but forgets his lunch! Not the best way to start the day I’m sure you’ll agree. His morning is preoccupied by the following events:

He thinks he has a test which he hasn’t studied for (but his notes have lots of smashing cartoons doodled on his pages - though admittedly this is no help whatsoever!)
On the way to school he accidentally body slams his head teacher, Principal Nichols. (A word of advice BOOKhutters: NEVER body slam your headteacher even if they are ‘sort of like a giant air bag.’)
Then, during his first lesson, he nearly gets in trouble with his least favourite teacher, Mrs. Godfrey (aka Godzilla).

But these are minor blips for our Nate who continues to defy the obsticles in his way.

We asked Brigadier Hilary Fancyman - this weeks BOOKhut guest reviewer to share his thoughts on this Big-Headed book:

“On the back cover it states that: “Big Nate is going to make you laugh. BIG time!” and I agree that this book certainly will make you chuckle till snot embarrassingly pours freely from your nose. There’s catoons a plenty too - so what’s not to enjoy here? It’s a sure fire hit for fans of ‘The diary of a Wimpy Kid’ (which was inspired by BIG NATE - truth!) and ‘Captain Underpants’. If I could describe this book in one word it would be ’Shuffberrybungo’.”

So start your New Year the BOOKhut way and get page turning a.s.a.p! (Affordable Slippery Antelope Perplexes….no, that’s not quite right. I think it means ‘As Soon As Possible’. Though I think I preferred the former.)

Speak soon BOOKhutters!

Des

‘It smells like egg salad, there aren’t enough tables, and the walls are the colour of cat puke. But after the morning I just had, I’ve never been so happy to walk into the cafeteria.’ - from ‘BIG NATE The Boy with the Biggest Head in the World’ by Lincoln Peirce.

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Start the New Year with a smile on your face.......and a banana in your ear! Let's hear it for BIG NATE! (*Silence*)....take the banana out first....NOW - Let's hear it for BIG NATE! (Applause!!!)

Start the New Year with a smile on your face.......and a banana in your ear! Let's hear it for BIG NATE! (Silence)....take the banana out first....NOW - Let's hear it for BIG NATE! (Applause!!!)