I have spent literally moments on writing the following poems for you. (No - not YOU Finnegan Gimble! You can stand in the corner. And turn around - we are offended by your beard and all that is trapped in it!)
As such, I have changed my name temporarily to Anderson A. Anderson. Don’t ask me why! (I said DON’T ask me why, Finnegan. And you can turn around again!)
My first offering is this little sham number:
‘McGoven’s Revenge’ by Anderson A. Anderson
Coco McGoven
was a pushin’ and a shovin’
in the queue for the loo
(which ‘the queue’ wasn’t lovin’)
so it weren’t surprising
when there was an uprising
and the queue pushed back
in a singular attack!
And Coco was ejected
he was down and rejected
BUT in fierce retaliation
he caused a mass sensation
as he pulled down his trousers
and the queue gasped ‘Yowsers!’
as he weed on them all
from the tallest to the small!
In confusion and disgust
all the queue began to rust
and his final parting shot
at this angry, sodden lot
was a revelation true -
that he didn’t need a poo!
This poem is bound to be shared in most boutiques up and down the land and scrawled in invisible ink on large billboards. My next journey into poetry is a much better piece - mainly because it’s not as long which has caused many to breath a sigh of relief after chugging through the last attempt:
The Double Booking - by Anderson A. Anderson
“What time’s the War?
Half past four!
Can we make it eight?
I’m going to be late!”
Short but oh-so-sweet! It won several awards in my own imagination and catapulted me into fame and fortune. And then I woke up. Sigh. But this next one is simply marvelous:
