Zoo Wee Mama! - it’s ‘The Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Cabin Fever’! - If you haven’t read it then where on EARTH have you been!!!!!

Is your best friend a rabbit? If the answer is ‘No’ please move on to the next question.

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Hello - thought I might find you here.

Alright then, is your best friend a sheep? If the answer is ‘Yes’ then please proceed to the nearest hospital where a doctor will look after you and a nurse will brush your hair and tell you everything is going to be fine. (Just make sure they don’t eat all of your grapes.)

BUT actually rabbits and sheep can co-exist in the most wonderful way. And the very best example of this is to look at the friendship that has grown between Sarah McIntyre’s dazzling duo, Vern and Lettuce.

Vern (the sheep) and Lettuce (the rabbit) are best friends - soul mates if you will. Not entirely similar at all either in breed or character, but together they form a funtubulous dynamic. 

Vern is a bit of a worrier, Lettuce is more spirited and carefree. Vern plays the tuba (‘BWAAT’!!!!). Lettuce can sing (….well, she seems to think so anyway) and together they plan to audition for Barnyard Talent and meet fox impressario, Ricky Reynard. On the way they knit, bake, bunny-sit and meet moles, polar bears, badgers and bus driving cats (that don’t allow pigeons to ride their bus. How rude!). Our two heroic animals turn the London cityscape into one big adventure and there are plenty of giggles to be had in each comic strip.

When I met Sarah, I asked her a couple of Vern and Lettuce related questions exclusively for BOOKhut:

BOOKhut: If Vern could knit you something what would you ask him to make you?

Sarah McIntyre: It would probably be a jumper with lots of pockets.

BOOKhut: If Vern and Lettuce bought each other a present, what would it be?

Sarah McIntyre: I think Vern would bake Lettuce some cookies and Lettuce would get Vern some skydiving lessons. Vern would hate that, and he would need some convincing to jump out of the plane.

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Again BOOKhut would like to give two huge thumbs up to the brilleriffic Sarah McIntyre. Vern and Lettuce is our BOOKhut recommendation so spoil yourselves and seek it out TODAY!!!

I’m off to visit my friend in hospital. He thinks he’s an armadillo named Bernice. I’ve already eaten his grapes so he’ll be disappointed about that.

Tatty bye BOOKworms!

Des

Life is one big question.

Actually, perhaps life is several questions.

Oh, let’s face it - life is FULL of questions. Here are some I would like answerred:

• Where is my hat?

• Who had the biggest pants - King Henry VIII or Queen Victoria? (I think hers were HUGE towards the end of her life.)
• What flavours does a rainbow come in?
• Are you sure you haven’t seen my hat?
• Where is Atlantis? (Is it really Cornwall in a very clever disguise? I heard someone say once that if you took the glasses and moustache off of Cornwall it would look exactly like Atlantis.)
• Why do feet smell of cheese?
• Why does cheese smell of feet?
• Why does the postman always leave the gate open?
• What does a Royal Guard keep under his busby? (I think I know this one: it’s their sandwiches.)
• Who broke the Enigma code?
• Who fixed the Enigma code after it was broken?
• Do spies like mince pies?
• Listen, I won’t get upset if you just put my hat back. I’ll close my eyes….
• What was Rumplstiltskin’s middle name? (I think it was Cynthia….)
• Did Goldilocks wear a wig?
• How many light bulbs does it take to change a person?
• Who changes the light bulb in the sun?
• Can I have a pet cloud and if so what would I give it to eat?

Some simple enough questions there I think you’ll find.

Alternatively of course you can plump for reading the BOOKhut recommendation for today which is the fact filled ‘Do Igloos Have Loos?’ by Mitchell Symons. In this bookMitchell sets out to answer all the unanswered and some of the unanswerable questions in the know universe. Like:

• Was there a real Goody Two-Shoes?
• Why does our skin go wrinkly when we’ve stayed in the bath for too long?
• How clever is your right foot?

This book is BEYOND FASCINATING. And if you think this is great then why not try one of his other books like the catchily titled ‘How much POO does an elephant do?’ or ‘On your FARTS, get set, GO!’

Just ask Mitchell - he knows the answers.

I bet he knows where my hat is.

Speak to you soon BOOKhutters.

Des

‘Slugs thrive in the wet. If they dry out - a process known as dessication - they die. So they have to produce a protective mucus - which looks like slime to us - to survive.’ - from ‘Do Igloos have Loos?’ by Mitchell Symons.

The Multi - Brillianted (- that’s not a real word, but hey- ho!) David Walliams talks about his 3rd book - ‘Billionaire Boy’

A definite BOOKhut recommendation! 

Join the hoardes of BOOKhutters visiting Sarah McIntyre’s website. It jam packed with lots of fun activities, pictures and things to keep you busy! Bookmark it and add it to your favourites as you will be guaranteed to visit again and again and again!

Sarah McIntyre is one of the bravest illustrators I know.

Look at this picture. She has a finger placed on Morris the Mankiest Monster’s bogey! (Cue the fainting Victorian lady)

It’s alright. No need to panic. Get the Victorian lady some smelling salts and a sponge cake. Sarah is only touching a picture of his bogey.

Sarah is an illustrator, author and creative wonder and I thought I would pop along to the Fleece Station (where her studio is based) and ask her The BOOKhut Big 6. (Cue outrageously epic music that would make any 18th cetury German composer blush into insignificance.)

The BOOKhut Big 6 - with the utterly brilliant Sarah McIntyre.   

Q1: Describe yourself in 6 words.

Sarah: Sugar addicted Londoner addicted to drawing.

Q2: Which children’s book character are you most like?

Sarah: Sym in ‘The White Darkness’ by Geraldine McCaughrean.

Q3: What are your favourite children’s books?

Sarah: ‘There are cats in the book’ by Vivian Schwarz and ‘In the Night Kitchen’ by Maurice Sendak. (**Look ‘em up BOOKhutters - they are fab!**)

Q4: Who inspires you?

Sarah: My creative friends Gary Northfields, Lauren O’Farrell, Ellen Lindner and the wider British comics community Posie Simmonds, Satoshi Kitamura and Philip Reeve.

Q5: Make up a new Olympic sport.

Sarah: Anything involving water balloons filled with jelly would be good. Perhaps also a game that was a cross between baseball and polo but ridden on elephants.

(**What a fantastic answer - I should have asked what flavour jelly though! Crumbs!**)

Q6: Tell the BOOKhutters an interesting fact.

Sarah: The Fleece Station is haunted by a lady who lives in the toilet!

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Phew! That was incredible. HUGE thanks to Sarah for answerring our BIG 6. I hope that ghost in the toilet isn’t too much of a bother (- I might see if I can track her down and suggest a more glamorous spot to haunt. Imagine having to go while while the ghost is rattling her chains and moaning. It would be most off putting!)

And our BOOKhut recommendation of course has to be something from Sarah so may I suggest ‘You Can’t Scare a Princess’ written by Gillian Rogerson and illustrated, of course, by our very own Sarah McIntyre. It has all you need - a neat, sweet, treat of a story with a princess, a king and some rather cheeky pirates - all beautifully drawn in spectacular fairytale dream scapes. (I’ve been lucky enough to see Sarah work and when she draws her pen sings accross a page. It’s magic.)

Join us later in the week when we find out a bit more about two of Sarah’s best characters, Vern and Lettuce!

I’m off to ghost-bust in a toilet. I ‘aint ‘fraid of no ghost!…………on second thoughts I might just stay here instead…….

Des

I have spent literally moments on writing the following poems for you. (No - not YOU Finnegan Gimble! You can stand in the corner. And turn around - we are offended by your beard and all that is trapped in it!)

As such, I have changed my name temporarily to Anderson A. Anderson. Don’t ask me why! (I said DON’T ask me why, Finnegan. And you can turn around again!)

My first offering is this little sham number:

‘McGoven’s Revenge’ by Anderson A. Anderson  

Coco McGoven

was a pushin’ and a shovin’

in the queue for the loo

(which ‘the queue’ wasn’t lovin’)

so it weren’t surprising

when there was an uprising

and the queue pushed back

in a singular attack!

And Coco was ejected

he was down and rejected

BUT in fierce retaliation

he caused a mass sensation

as he pulled down his trousers

and the queue gasped ‘Yowsers!’

as he weed on them all

from the tallest to the small!

In confusion and disgust

all the queue began to rust

and his final parting shot

at this angry, sodden lot

was a revelation true -

that he didn’t need a poo!

This poem is bound to be shared in most boutiques up and down the land and scrawled in invisible ink on large billboards. My next journey into poetry is a much better piece - mainly because it’s not as long which has caused many to breath a sigh of relief after chugging through the last attempt:

The Double Booking - by Anderson A. Anderson

“What time’s the War?

Half past four!

Can we make it eight?

I’m going to be late!”

Short but oh-so-sweet! It won several awards in my own imagination and catapulted me into fame and fortune. And then I woke up. Sigh. But this next one is simply marvelous: 

During the summer of 1642 (or maybe it was half past three?) it was my great fortune to meet the creative whirlwind known to some as Andy Stanton, but to others simply, Andy Stanton. Here are the things I deduced:

• What a nice man he is! (my mum and her parrot, Cindy, agreed)
• He is taller than hobbits but a bit smaller than a giant hobbit.
• He knows a few thousand facts about sharks - particularly old ones. (This is a veritable truth)
• His beard is made from super enforced cream cheese (This is a lie - I’m sorry to all involved)
• He is a 1000 x funty (- thanks Billy William III -) and has an amazingly inventive mind!

I asked him some questions on behalf of you - the BOOKhutters -  to discover more about this exceptional author:

BOOKHUT: Your characters all inhabit a place called ‘Lamonic Bibber’ but how on earth did you come up with a name like ‘Lamonic Bibber’?

ANDY STANTON: Well, I like to make up words or phrases in my life - weird sounding words that no-one’s ever heard of before just because I like how words sound. I think it’s really funny. For some reason this phrase ‘Lamonic Bibber’ popped into my head and I used to use it in disgust if something was rubbish. (For example) I would come out of a cinema and go ‘Oh man! That film was totally lamonic bibber!’. And then later on I started writing my ‘Mr Gum’ books and I thought ‘What’s the name of the town that all the characters live in?’, and I remeberred ‘Lamonic Bibber’ - it was the perfect name. So actually it means that all my characters live in a town, and the whole world of the books is set in a town, which means ‘a load of old rubbish’!

BOOKHUT: Andy, you have invented some of the funniest catphrases we have ever heard of like ‘Shabba me Whiskers’ uttered by Mr Gum himself. But how on earth did you come up with a phrase like ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’ by Friday O’Leary?

ANDY STANTON: Years ago I was sitting with my brother watching TV and I just turned to him, out of the blue, (Idon’t know why - I’ve no idea why) and said ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. And he just turned back to me and said, ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. And then I turned back to him and said, ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’ - and we did this for about half an hour and from that day on we just used to say ‘THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. It used to get into my head all the time. And if I was listening to the radio and it would say something like ’ The news at 11 o’clock’, I would hear it as, ’THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. Years later I started writing my book and I thought ‘What is the weirdest phrase that I can get Friday O’Leary to shout out?’, and of course I rememberred ’THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’. Now kids all over the country - if not the world - all shout out  ’THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE’ and it’s just because of this one thing I said to my brother one day. I still don’t think anyone knows what it means!

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Hearty thanks to to Andy Stanton - the MAN…..ton… for such an exclusive insight into his novels. To celebrate, BOOKhut’s recommendation for the day is ‘Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire’ - book 2 in the Mr Gum series. It introduces the crumbly, delicious and as rich as a mince pie, Alan Taylor - a gingerbread man with electric muscles. But it looks like Mr Gum and and Billy William are co-plotting to steal his fortune. It’s up to regulars, Polly and Friday O’Leary to save the day. Confused? Of course you’ll be but in the most delightful way!

Laters potaters! (BOOKhutters all!)

Des

‘Down on the rocks Mr Gum was looking out to sea with a powerful telescope he’d made from a jar of mustard, a rolled-up magazine and a powerful telescope.’ from ‘Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire’ by Andy Stanton. 

   Genghis the Troll invited me to dinner under his bridge. Well, I couldn’t say no - he’s much bigger than me and he did have me in a head-lock at the time!

So I went along with a bottle of Goo de la Nez ’76 (a good vintage for snot wine) and half a maggot sandwich (-well, I got a bit hungry on the way -) and nervously rang the clanger on his drawbridge door.

“YOU’RE EARLY!” he boomed through a green misty belch. “I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO PEEL ME EYEBALLS FOR DESSERT YET!”

Now two things struck me there. 1) What or whose eyeballs was he peeling and 2) EYEBALLS FOR DESSERT!!! PUKE!!! (……I mean wouldn’t they be much better placed as a starter).

For the occasion he had washed his hair - both of them - and had applied four layers of dung to his trousers. Everywhere he went he left a little deposit of filth! Yuck!

“So what’s on the menu tonight? Steak and chips with a nice side salad?” I asked optimistically with a a great deal of trepidation.

“IT WAS GOING TO BE BRAISED PRINCESS IN A DUNG SAUCE WITH A PARSLEY GARNISH!” said Genghis drooling over his words.

(I didn’t like parsley but I kept quite. I didn’t want to appear rude.)

“BUT THE PRINCESS I NICKED ESCAPED DURING MY AFTERNOON SIESTA!” The corners of his mouth dropped and he focussed his one yellow eye rather intimidatingly at me. I knew what he was going to say next. He continued, “NOW BE A GOOD SPORT AND JUMP IN THE OVEN - I’M STARVING.”

As you can imagine I squarely declined, not with words but through my actions. I ran from that bridge as fast as my bandy legs would carry me.

On the way home I met a princess who went on to explain that she had had a similar experience earlier. We were both famished so I invited her out for a burger - see it wasn’t such a bad day after all!

My BOOKhut recommendation for today is  ‘Don’t Cook Cinderella’ written by ‘Horrid Henry’ creator, Francesca Simon. Here she blends fairytale characters we all know and puts them in a school setting. The infants are taught by Miss Good Fairy and comprise of Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, the Three Little Pigs and many other heroic types. But in the class opposite are the juniors or Bad Class, taught by Miss Bad Fairy and they include Wicked Witch, Big Bad Wolf, Jealous Queen as well as a troll (not dissimilar to the one I met!). Bad Class become obsessed with wanting to eat the infants. Will they succeed and feast on Hansel and Gretel and the rest of their class mates? Or will they be thwarted by Mother Goose? DON’T JUST SIT THERE - SEEK OUT THIS WONDERFIBULABULOUS TALE!

It’s a must read!

I’m off to the palace now to pick up the princess. We’re heading into town for another burger and then might catch a film later. She insists it has to end ‘Happily Ever After’ so we won’t be watching ‘Zombie Bunnies from the Twelth Dimension’ (which I really wanted to see!).

(Tut!)

See you soon BOOKhutters!

Des 

“WHO THREW THAT SPITBALL!’ shouted Miss Bad Fairy.

‘I did,’ said Big Bad Wolf. ‘Wotcha gonna do about it?’

Miss Bad Fairy made a big black mark in her register.

‘Keep up the good work, Big Bad Wolf! Go to the top of the class!” - from ‘Don’t Cook Cinderella’ - written by Francesca Simon and illustrated by Tony Ross.

Happy New Year BOOKhutters - let’s start as we mean to carry on shall we?

My New Years resolutions include:

• To bungee jump off a shoe box (- I don’t like heights so something flat would be ideal really.)
• To eat at least two of my five-a-day (- I would argue that chocolate covered raisins are in actual fact one of your five-a-day, however I’m not tempted by chocolate covered sprouts.)
• To grow my own zoo.
• To invent something brilliant - like self-cleaning underpants, or make-up for birds, or powdered water (..which you can rehydrate with……erm….water…..hmn……that’s not my best idea….needs some work…)
• To create a new sound effect for a big budget blockbuster movie. Here’s a sample: FWATANGO! (- it’s the sound of a tennis racket hitting a naughty robot on the head.)
• To READ LOTS OF AWESOME BOOKS AND SHARE THEM WITH YOU!

First up is ‘BIG NATE - The Boy with the Biggest Head in the World’ by the stunningly spectacular Lincoln Peirce. Nate is a classic comic-strip character and stars in not just one but SEVERAL rib-ticklingly bombastic books of his own.

Now Nate believes that he has an appointment with destiny - that he is, like you, going to be something GREAT! (Thus proving what a big head he really is! - Not you of course, him.)

He’s a table tennis champ, a genius comic book artist and, in his mind, the king of his class. One morning, he rushes to school after surviving his Dad’s toxic porridge, but forgets his lunch! Not the best way to start the day I’m sure you’ll agree. His morning is preoccupied by the following events:

• He thinks he has a test which he hasn’t studied for (but his notes have lots of smashing cartoons doodled on his pages - though admittedly this is no help whatsoever!)
• On the way to school he accidentally body slams his head teacher, Principal Nichols. (A word of advice BOOKhutters: NEVER body slam your headteacher even if they are ‘sort of like a giant air bag.’)
• Then, during his first lesson, he nearly gets in trouble with his least favourite teacher, Mrs. Godfrey (aka Godzilla).

But these are minor blips for our Nate who continues to defy the obsticles in his way. 

We asked Brigadier Hilary Fancyman - this weeks BOOKhut guest reviewer to share his thoughts on this Big-Headed book: 

“On the back cover it states that: “Big Nate is going to make you laugh. BIG time!” and I agree that this book certainly will make you chuckle till snot embarrassingly pours freely from your nose. There’s catoons a plenty too - so what’s not to enjoy here?  It’s a sure fire hit for fans of ‘The diary of a Wimpy Kid’ (which was inspired by BIG NATE - truth!) and ‘Captain Underpants’. If I could describe this book in one word it would be ’Shuffberrybungo’.”

So start your New Year the BOOKhut way and get page turning a.s.a.p! (Affordable Slippery Antelope Perplexes….no, that’s not quite right. I think it means ‘As Soon As Possible’. Though I think I preferred the former.)

Speak soon BOOKhutters!

Des

‘It smells like egg salad, there aren’t enough tables, and the walls are the colour of cat puke. But after the morning I just had, I’ve never been so happy to walk into the cafeteria.’ - from ‘BIG NATE The Boy with the Biggest Head in the World’ by Lincoln Peirce.